I just posted an entry to my other blog, Running from Distraction. I thought it was relevant enough to ADHD that I am going to link to it here. Hopefully you find it interesting, or at least worth a quick read. A longer post regarding my conversations with figures from the past is coming tomorrow.
The winter can kill your momentum; how I try to st...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Catching up with some old friends Part One
I was recently taking some kind of assessment or quiz for a reason I can't recall, but one of the questions stuck with me and made me think a little more deeply about the answer. The question was " If you could pick one or two people from the past who are now dead to sit down and have dinner with, who would they be?" In the past I usually would answer with a famous historical figure or try to come up with an obscure choice, just to be a pain in the neck. But this time it struck me that there are two people I'd love to sit down with and talk to, because now I'm old enough to know what to ask them. I want to have dinner with my Grandfathers.
Both men have been gone for quite some time. My Father's Father was a tough, lean, wiry guy who had spent his life at sea first as a fisherman, then a boatbuilder and skipper aboard different sailing yachts and racers. He had grown up poor, one of ten children, all of whom were subject to beatings at the hands of his equally tough Father. When I knew him, he was a loving Grandfather who enjoyed having me around. He would tell me stories and take me different places. Most of the curse words I know I learned from him, but I also learned a lot about hard work and taking pride in whatever you were doing.
My Mother's father, in contrast, was a well respected lawyer, Judge, and banker. He was one of the most prominent citizens of the town my mother grew up in. He graduated from law school early, and was the first of his classmates to pass the bar. At the age of 25, he was named a county judge. he became the managing partner in one of the older law firms in town, and would also become the Chairman of the Board for the local bank. He too was a loving grandfather. I can still remember him leaning down to kiss me smelling of Listerine. He liked to take me down to the beach near the summer cottage he and my Grandmother owned, and teach me to shoot a BB gun, or show me what he was using for fertilizer in his garden. I looked up to him and deeply respected him.
Both of these men harbored secrets, however. I believe that both men may not have lived completely happy lives because of these secrets. I also think that there is a better than even chance that they both had aspects of ADHD. In the next two posts, I'm going to talk about each man, and then "ask" them what the difference would have been in their lives if they had lived today. I believe they were both far more complicated interesting people than I ever suspected as a child.
Both men have been gone for quite some time. My Father's Father was a tough, lean, wiry guy who had spent his life at sea first as a fisherman, then a boatbuilder and skipper aboard different sailing yachts and racers. He had grown up poor, one of ten children, all of whom were subject to beatings at the hands of his equally tough Father. When I knew him, he was a loving Grandfather who enjoyed having me around. He would tell me stories and take me different places. Most of the curse words I know I learned from him, but I also learned a lot about hard work and taking pride in whatever you were doing.
My Mother's father, in contrast, was a well respected lawyer, Judge, and banker. He was one of the most prominent citizens of the town my mother grew up in. He graduated from law school early, and was the first of his classmates to pass the bar. At the age of 25, he was named a county judge. he became the managing partner in one of the older law firms in town, and would also become the Chairman of the Board for the local bank. He too was a loving grandfather. I can still remember him leaning down to kiss me smelling of Listerine. He liked to take me down to the beach near the summer cottage he and my Grandmother owned, and teach me to shoot a BB gun, or show me what he was using for fertilizer in his garden. I looked up to him and deeply respected him.
Both of these men harbored secrets, however. I believe that both men may not have lived completely happy lives because of these secrets. I also think that there is a better than even chance that they both had aspects of ADHD. In the next two posts, I'm going to talk about each man, and then "ask" them what the difference would have been in their lives if they had lived today. I believe they were both far more complicated interesting people than I ever suspected as a child.
Friday, January 7, 2011
How has your year started out?
I wonder how everyone's year has started out? For many of us, we set goals for the new year to make changes and improvements in our lives. Those of us with ADHD are notorious for the New Year's resolutions to get organized, get our taxes done early, get that home improvement project done, or any number of other things. But lots of people make goals, not just people with ADHD. How was your first week working toward your goal?
It's the first Friday afternoon of 2011 and for some of us, we had a great week, where we got a lot accomplished and moved forward. For some of us, it was a week of catching up, and we'll get started next week. For others it was frustrating to find that old habits seem to die hard, and they made no progress at all. If you made a pact with yourself to make some changes this year, don't despair! It's only been one week.
Here are some ideas to help get things moving:
1. Share your goals with friends and family; saying it out loud to someone else makes it more real.
2. Write it down, and post it everywhere. The bathroom mirror, the fridge, your computer monitor.
3. Do you have a goal without a plan for reaching it? Then it's a wish. Make a plan.
4. Ask for help. No matter what your goal, there's someone who can help get you started, and it doesn't need to cost money. Think of the people you know and ask yourself who would be a good resource?
5. Go to the library and take a couple of books out that relate to your goal. The more you think about it the more likely you will work toward it.
6. Finally ask yourself: Is this goal right for me? Is this what I really want? If not, it's ok to make a new goal.
However your first week went, change happens when we as individuals decide to make it happen. Taking the first step is often hard, but your one step closer.
It's the first Friday afternoon of 2011 and for some of us, we had a great week, where we got a lot accomplished and moved forward. For some of us, it was a week of catching up, and we'll get started next week. For others it was frustrating to find that old habits seem to die hard, and they made no progress at all. If you made a pact with yourself to make some changes this year, don't despair! It's only been one week.
Here are some ideas to help get things moving:
1. Share your goals with friends and family; saying it out loud to someone else makes it more real.
2. Write it down, and post it everywhere. The bathroom mirror, the fridge, your computer monitor.
3. Do you have a goal without a plan for reaching it? Then it's a wish. Make a plan.
4. Ask for help. No matter what your goal, there's someone who can help get you started, and it doesn't need to cost money. Think of the people you know and ask yourself who would be a good resource?
5. Go to the library and take a couple of books out that relate to your goal. The more you think about it the more likely you will work toward it.
6. Finally ask yourself: Is this goal right for me? Is this what I really want? If not, it's ok to make a new goal.
However your first week went, change happens when we as individuals decide to make it happen. Taking the first step is often hard, but your one step closer.
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year, New Ideas, New Attitudes, New Beginnings.
Can anyone think of the last time they vowed that this year will be different, and then it actually happened? In my experience, vowing that things will be different doesn't necessarily lead to anything changing. What really helps to promote change is changing the way we think about things. Let me give you an example:
I have spent the better portion of my adult life declaring that I am not a morning person. The idea of getting up early to do anything was repulsive to me. I'm a night owl. I'm not productive until that third cup of coffee is down. No meetings before 10 a.m. Are you beginning to get the idea? So when I began working on my own, the ugly truth began to come out. I need to start being productive earlier. I can't wait until 10 or 11 to get working on things. Life seems to wake up at 8:30, and doesn't really recognize that you need some time to get going.
This year, I have vowed that office hours will start no later than 9 a.m. I'm going to push myself to make it 8:30, but I'm giving myself wiggle room. Running and exercise need to happen early in the day. I never feel like my day has started until I've exercised, and if you don't exercise until noon, that leads to some unproductive time. So exercise and running needs to be done by 8:00-8:30. I'm going to gradually make it earlier as the year goes along and the sun comes up earlier. Finally, I've vowed that I will make sure something substantial gets accomplished before lunch every day. That difficult phone call, that paperwork that needs organizing, these blog posts, etc. Lunch will be a celebration of a productive morning that helps me move closer to my goals.
It's not going to be easy developing this new relationship with the morning, but I'm committed to trying to make it work.
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