ADHD and the Eight Fold Path: The Mental Truths Part One

Continuing on with the series of posts that is taking far longer than I expected, we now turn to the second part of the Eight Fold Path, or the Mental Truths. This could also be called the psychological truths, but it's easier to type mental, so we're going with that. These Truths are as follows:

1. Right Acceptance and Forgiveness

2. Right Therapy

3. Right Medication

When someone is diagnosed with ADHD, there is a weird process that happens. At first there may be a sense of elation. You finally have a reason for all the screw ups in your life! You have a disorder! You aren't such a loser after all! But doubts creep in; am I really justified in feeling better about myself? Am I just using this as an excuse? Do I really deserve to be let off the hook for all the mistakes and sins of omission I have made? Do I really have a disorder?

I'm not an expert, and I'm definitely not going to say that this is a universal experience. But I think it's important to recognize that until recently, ADHD was not a valid reason for an adult to have difficulty with being organized, on time, and generally capable in the executive function arena. In fact the likelihood is that even people in your life who say they recognize ADHD is a legitimate disorder, and can impair performance are still thinking on some level "yes, but you still should be able to mail those letters I gave you!" Indeed, a person diagnosed with ADHD may be having an internal dialogue with themselves that is similar to this. But in order to effectively treat ADHD, it is important to recognize that a person must be willing to do two big things:

1. Accept that they have Neurobiological disorder that is just beginning to be understood. Accept the fact that no amount of will power or sense of purpose could have prevented or changed times when they forgot appointments, or were totally disorganized. Accept that many of their tendencies are not a moral failing. Accept that they must now take responsibility for treating their disorder.

2. The second big thing is they must be willing to forgive. This is a big one, no question about it. Forgiveness may be given to people who didn't understand, such as parents or teachers. But the bigger issue is that a person who has ADHD must be willing to forgive themselves. Forgive themselves for all the things they felt they should have been better at. Forgive themselves for all the half done projects, the impulsive purchases, the missed opportunities. The old expression "To err is human, to forgive is divine" contains a great deal of truth.

The path to a better life cannot begin without Acceptance and Forgiveness. In my opinion, these two things are vital to the healing process, and they are not easy. That is why, in our next post, we'll look at why Therapy can be so vital.