ADHD and the Eight Fold Path: The Practical Truths part two: Right Coaching and Support.

At long last I've come to the final of these posts regarding the Eight Fold path to the treatment of ADHD. The final truth to discuss is that of Right Coaching and Support. I use these terms sort of loosely because they can mean different things to different people. The key idea here is that people with ADHD need three things in order to maximize the effectiveness of treatment:

1. Support: Especially at first, but even as the years go by, people who struggle with ADHD need support. Support can be as simple as someone who can remind them of things from time to time, or at least be understanding when things are forgotten. Support is also non-judgmental. Even though you may have forgotten to mail out the bills three days in a row, the person providing support must be able to look past the error and ask "so what's your plan going forward?". Spouses and Parents are not always able to manage non-judgmental support at all times, which is why a professional Coach or therapist can be so valuable.

2. Accountability: People with ADHD need accountability. The phenomenon of getting things done at the last minute is the embodiment of the power accountability can have. To a certain extent we are all accountable to someone. The person with ADHD needs to have the feeling that someone is waiting for them to complete a task. This someone needs to be real, specific and have a connection with them. The credit card company isn't really specific enough. In addition, the center of accountability once again must be non-judgmental. No one wants to be accountable to someone that yells and calls you names if you're late or make a mistake. This leads to avoidance and the need to make up stories, also known as lying: Yes professor, I turned that paper in ages ago! What do you mean you can't find it? Non Judgmental accountability provides the impetus to complete a task, with the feeling of knowing that you are being supported and encouraged to meet your obligation.

3. Finally people with ADHD need understanding. People want to do well. No one likes to feel they are a screw up or hopeless. Having someone in your life who understands you, and the effect ADHD has on you, is invaluable. Being able to say to a Coach, a spouse, a parent, or a friend that you had an "ADHD Moment"(shameless Blog Title plug :) ) and be able to laugh with them about it can mean everything. Having them offer a kind word of encouragement can mean the difference between success and failure for many people.

In closing, finding the right person or persons to offer you support, accountability, and understanding may be one of the key things you can do to treat your ADHD. It is a life long process. Be patient and celebrate small successes.