ADHD and the Stress of minor holidays

While its well documented that the "major holidays" (which I define as Thanksgiving, Christmas, your spouses' Birthday, your Wedding Anniversary, and any major event that brings together large numbers of people related to you; you can feel free to think of any of them as major) can create a lot of stress I would argue that the minor ones are just as problematic for many people.  If you happen to have ADHD it can be even worse.  For Valentine's day I thought it would be appropriate to post a few thoughts about how a day like today can create a real issue for people who have trouble with a regular week, let alone a week where for one day you are also supposed to figure out how to be romantic, charming, and original when you may not be any of those things the other 364 days of the year.

For people like me, it takes a lot of energy to think through Valentine's day.  I've got to figure out when I can find time to look for a little something for my wife; then I've got to decide what I may get for her.  Once I've done that, I've actually got to follow through on those plans, and by the way, keep up with all the other stuff I have going on.   While for many people this may not seem like much, it's a real challenge for people who struggle with planning, self activation, and execution.  Throw on top of that memories of how you may have screwed up a day like Valentine's in the past and the fall out from that and you have yourself a full blown case of minor holiday anxiety.

Ok, deep breath!  We will get through this!  And Mother's day too!  But the key to really taking the stress and anxiety out of a day like Valentine's day is to flip all the negative thoughts.  Instead of worrying about what you're going to do, think about your romantic partner.  If you love them, then think about how great it is to make them happy.  Think about how it feels when you do something nice for them.  Then take those thoughts and keep them in mind as you plan when you will make a dinner reservation or a trip to the florists.  Remember, Valentine's Day is not like doing your taxes; theoretically, the person you are with makes you happy and you love them.  Have some fun with picking out a gift, or deciding on an activity.  Then make sure you actually tell them about why you decided on a certain thing, and why you thought they might like it.  Take a few moments to realize that it's not what you spend, but the fact that you actually pulled it together to do something special.

So fear not when confronted with Valentine's Day, Mother's day, Father's day, or some other day when your executive functions may be a little extra taxed.  Take a minute to think about how you feel about your Wife/Husband/Mother/Father/Romantic other.  Think about what you could do to tell them how you feel, and then put it in your calendar, on your to do list, and in your smart phone.  Now please forgive me, but I need to run to the Florists!